A list of life

Entering into the end of March a list of life updates:

1. Had my grad school interview, it went incredibly well. I felt like I was given a psych evaluation with what I had to go through, scenario responses, rating how certain things are important in my life, what I value, labeling pictures with one word meanings....weird, odd, interesting, and so excited to go back to school!

2. Had a 30th surprise birthday party for a friend at school....I love surprise parties, as long as the surprise is pulled off, and it was! It was a great night out, with great people, a lot of laughs, some good drinks, and I feel very lucky to have gotten to know such good people and friends at work.

3. My 5k training is going well, better, my knee brace is successfully working, and once the nice weather hits, I will be glad to train outside.

4. I am going on my first field trip tomorrow, 90 middle schoolers, a play and mexican town to eat. I, for the first time, feel like a real teacher, with real responsibility. The kids are excited, I am paranoid I am going to leave someone in the bathroom in downtown detroit.

5. Had PD day for 6 hours today...and realized the pit falls of education...the politics, the headaches, the common assessment, the lack of direction, teaching to the book, the pitfalls of foreign language, teaching to the test, moving away from teacher originality, I am entering this teaching profession at a very challenging time, frustrating time, and I can see it in two ways. 1) bitch and complain and say I am going to quit 2) get my masters in something outside of teaching to prepare for the future of maybe a more negative teaching field and in the meantime, go into my classroom, do things my way, teach my kids the best I can, make the impact I know I am making, enjoy what I am doing, know that I am doing my very best, do what is required in my way, and worry about the less than positive future in years ahead. With education there is always going to be change, paperwork, new requirements, and with this comes the ability to make a difference, to change the world, if we are allowed that freedom and can break free from the three possible choices on a multiple choice test.

6. Had lunch and spent the day with my all time favorite teacher....she is why I went into teaching, and although she was discouraged at PD today too, I stay in teaching because I want to impact someone the way she impacted me. There are people in my life that just go above and beyond for me, that know me better than I know myself, that look at me and know what is going on, that just understand me...she is one of them. She was my teacher, a mentor and is now a colleague and friend, and I admire her both personally and professionally. I always hoped I would grow up and work back with my old teachers, and here I am fulfilling that dream....it is still all so surreal.

7. I have realized that going out of my comfort zone provides opportunities for great growth. Thanks to some cheerleading and support from a friend of mine, I am embarking on a new journey. I am not sure where it will lead, I am not sure I even know what I am doing, but I am trying to go at this with a new perspective and an open mind. Knowing that if I am rejected, it will be a learning opportunity, if I am rejected, I will learn that I am still worth more than that rejection, that I deserve more, it will be a test of strength, and certainly a test of where I am in my life, and I feel very supported in this endeavor which makes it that much easier to go for it. I hope it leads to something positive.

8. I secretly love March Madness

9. I have realized the value of age and wisdom. I have realized that there is truth in the fact that as you grow older you meet better people. I realized that there is better out there. I have realized how far out of their way people will go for you to support you, give you advice, and genuinely take an interest in your life; the good and the bad. I lost that feeling for a very long time, and it is wonderful to have it back....I need resassurance, I take comfort in knowing that just as I need certain people in my life, they need me in theirs as well.

10. There are so many people engaged and married, at 23! Seriously!!!! I have done a lot of thinking about this situation.....I love the idea of a family, being surrounded by a family, husband, kids, not tomorrow, but its something I definitely want, that security, that crazyness. I know I am not ready yet, I am too set in my ways, still like being on my own schedule, probably too selfish, but I actually think I want it sooner than I realize, without wishing my young life away too quickly.

11. Florida in three weeks!

12. Learning to embrace the unknown, and see where it takes me....because sometimes, in the winds of change...great things happen. I am learning to follow the signs, step out of my comfort zone, and yes I stress about what is to come, but it is with the hope, that what is to come, is something great.