I lost so much of my soul yesterday----who I am, the values I hold, this over-arching presence in my life. I write to help cope, and I write to prevent myself from going inward. Yet here I sit, painfully grieving, with this sudden death in my family, and I am truly, whole-heartedly at a loss for words. I have offered to write the eulogy, because I know on some level it will bring me peace, but the thought of writing it down on paper makes it permanent. And I am not sure I am ready for that.
I am comforted by the outpouring of love and support from dear friends and family thus far and the overwhelming amounts of love I am sure I will receive as the rest of the week unfolds, but I find myself heart-broken, speechless, and I know this is only the calm before the storm.
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