Perspective

I gained some interesting perspective this morning, talking to an old friend and colleague of mine. Sometimes, you just need that outsiders perspective to set you back into reality.
Perspective, it can do amazing things. The thing about perspective though is that it cannot be forced, you cannot change someone, or change someone's mind to make them see another perspective. Time changes perspective, people change perspective, life changes perspective. And sometimes people just change. And sometimes people just need something else in their lives, they are searching for something, hoping for something, looking for something that you cannot give them right now. It has less to do with you, then with what they need or what they want from life right now. People spend their whole lives being one thing, and one day, wake up and realize, they don't want to be that anymore, so they surround themselves with people who will support this "new person" they are trying to become, leaving everyone else behind, not being able to see the consequences. The consequences are often seen much later, and you are then expected to help pick up all the pieces. There is a fine line between needing to spread your wings, and hurting the people that would have helped you do that in the first place. Just because you want something different out of life, doesn't mean you have right to hurt the people who originally wanted the same things as you. But maybe the hurt was unintentional, spiraled out of control, and now thought to be beyond repair. Life is sticky and complicated and filled with many perspectives and disappointments, but I am not the only one to go through this. I think what I learned this morning is that despite the toughest lessons and the most painful circumstances, I have to keep standards for how I treat myself, and how others treat me, and I have to know that I deserve to be treated well. I have to know in my heart, that I am a good person who tries to do the right thing. I am not perfect, by any means, but I try every option possible to make things right, to put myself in another person's shoes, to learn, and listen and to grow. I have to remind myself to not blame myself for every little thing, things do have a way of working out and sometimes that means keeping the door open for new possibilities, and new perspectives to enter in, whether it be days, weeks, months or years later. And until they enter, I live my life, knowing that I am proud of the person I am becoming, the things I stand for, and the compassion I have for the people in my life.