Well as 2008 draws to a close, I can honestly say it has been the most eventful year of my life so far. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, a lot of lessons learned, some great memories, some fantastic accomplishments, some great pain, wonderful joy, and some major life goals accomplished.
Let's reflect. In the past 12 months, I have completed a hellish year of student teaching, which turned out to be one the best experiences of my life. A rocky start, in a tough school, taught me so much about tolerance, patience, communication skills...it taught me about the effect even the toughest students can have on my life, even the students who refuse to learn, who start fires in their lockers, made me realize what teenagers go through day to day, and how lucky I was to have such a fortunate upbringing. I learned about family backgrounds and stories and how they truly effects your performance in school. I learned, that some kids will challenge you, because they want to see how much you care, they want to see if you will break, because most teachers don't care enough to make it through that kind of urban environment. People I know went through hoops and bounds, had parents make phone calls to people in high places, to beg to get out of urban areas for student teaching....what a waste, how selfish, what a way to sell yourself short. Teaching is not easy, you will not always be able to be at the perfect school, with the perfect kids, in the perfect environment, you will not be able to have Mom or Dad call to get you into a certain district when it comes time for your job......these people that did this, have a lot to learn about teaching and about life. I am completely grateful for my student teaching experience, it taught me classroom management and compassion, and an ability to communicate in a way I never thought possible.
The early months of 2008 and into the later months as well brought a very important relationship I had into question. I am very grateful for this relationship, and I feel lucky that when things were good, my friend and I got to experience student teaching together, something that we set out to do together at 18 years old. I feel thankful that we shared lessons, shared stories, went to job fairs, understood the struggles of being a student teaching together. I was the most honest I had ever been during these months, I fought for something that I cared very deeply about, I am grateful for the small progress we made, but ultimately very hurt that all the work, compassion, truth didn't mean much. I am sad that I wasn't worth the truth, that I was told one thing, and something completely opposite was done in action. I thought we were gonna make it, I thought the work we had done, the progress we had made, the commitment we had made, the lessons we had learned, the communication we had, had truly changed us, truly we were going to make this work....but sometimes history just isn't enough to hold a relationship together. I learned that people need different things and different friends during different times in their lives....I learned you cannot make someone believe you, you cannot make someone be in a relationship with you. Relationships have to be mutual, there has to be honesty, there has to be a commitment to grow together and make each other better people. I will continue to process this, continue to learn from this....I have learned patience from this, strength, wonderful communication and confrontation skills, I know mistakes were made, superficial things were blown up, and I hope that what is meant to be will find its way.
So in May of 2008, I made it through the program, I officially graduated from Michigan State, with my Spanish teacher certification. I never thought I would make it. But I did. Something that I set out to do when I was 18 years old. Something I have wanted since I was 9 years old, I was a teacher. What an accomplishment. One item off my "bucket list", I am a teacher, wow, I am still trying to get used to that. While I complained about the entire year of student teaching, looking back, I realize how lucky I was to have that experience. The college of ed put me through hell, and I don't think they particularly prepared me, but the entire year of teaching, definitely prepared me for my first REAL year of teaching. It was tough, and loads of work, no sleep, no pay, grad classes, but to be honest, it was very worth it. I was also fortunate to stay in close contact with my mentor teacher, and made great friends at the school as well. I am also extremely lucky, that before I graduated from MSU, I came in contact with one of the greatest people of all time, a mentor in education, a person who taught me how to be professional, yet stil vent my frustrations, someone who has dedicated her whole life to education and is committed to the field and to the lives she touches, someone who gives 200% every day, someone who knows the flaws of the system, yet excels anyways, someone who taught me a lot about myself, and someone who helped me through some pretty personal struggles, and relationship hardships, she taught me what it meant to be GOLD, and redefined what a teacher is....I won't name her by name, she knows who she is, she was my Spanish methods instructor, and I would not be the person, nor the teacher I am today, if I had not come in contact with her. Graduating from five years of MSU, made me quite nostalgic, quite reflective. Five years of college, and how fast it all went. I look back and remember all the memories, meeting my best friend, the all nighters, the funny teachers, the funny students, friends made, friends lost, cafeteria food, cramming two fridges into my dorm sophomore year, getting my gall bladder out, applying to the college of ed, soing to school all summer, going to Spain, god I could go on forever, you learn so much more than just want you learn inside the classroom. I hope to hold onto these memories for a long time, because I know I will never get them back.
So I am a teacher....now I need a job. That was my summer 2008. Jobs! I went through interviews, and second rounds, third rounds, and dissapointment each time I was told I was second choice, but not first. I began to look out of state, going back to grad school, and in a wonderful twist of fate, the last day of July become a day I will also remember. Within 24 hours I was offered 3 jobs! A phone call from an old math teacher, now principal called to tell me of a very recent opening in Spanish, middle school, in LIVONIA....he said that he thought of me first, and could I interview tomorrow. I interviewed for three different jobs in the same 24 hours. I got all three offers. It was a whirlwind of a few days, I got opinions from different friends, family members, and finally made the decision...a decision which I knew was the right one. I got my dream job, and the prinicpal told me that while it may have been my connections that got me the interview, but it was my credentials, grades, personality, and enthusiasm that got me the job...I am a middle school Spanish teacher in the district that I grew up in, it's my dream job, I walked around in a stooper for about a week. How fortunate am I? How did I get this lucky? I am truly blessed, I think my old High School Spanish teacher said it best..."I am so proud, no one has worked harder, and you have restored my faith that good things happen to good people."
August 2008....setting up my very own classroom was one of the most fantastic experiences of my life. All of the posters, chilli peppers, signs, Spanish realia, was put to use. As I lined my chilli pepper borders around my room, put my Spanish flag across my desk, I never felt so proud. I am very rarely proud of myself, and I was truly proud, you couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. My room, my classroom, I wanted this since I was 9 years old. The first day of school, the kids came in, and I knew this was where I was meant to be. I love middle school, I love their innocence, and their weirdness, and their reliance on me. I love guiding them, and their enthusiasm about Spanish. I love speaking to them in Spanish, knowing that I taught them that. I love their projects, and their awkwardness, their passion for their friends and everything pop culture. I love thinking of new lessons, and talking to parents, I just love everything about it. I sit here on Christmas break, and I miss the kids, I miss my job. You don't hear that often. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the break, because teaching is some of the hardest, most exhausting work I have ever experienced. But it's wonderfully exhausting. I have learned so much again about patience, and compassion, and communication. Following my passion and commitment. I feel so lucky to have this job.
And now here we are at the end of 2008. My brother has gone to college and completed his first semster at MSU. I feel like it was only yesterday that I was starting on somedays, and it seems like forever ago on others. I am so proud of him. I have become close with friends that I never would have expected this time last year. I have learned a lot about relationships this year, and I have learned that the people you never expect, are the ones that are there when you need them most. The ones that quietly make their way into your life, the ones that have been there all along, you just weren't paying attention. I am grateful for growing closer to them.
I learned that I have come a very far way in 2008, I have accomplished a lot, learned a lot of tough lessons, grown a lot, but I have a lot left to learn, and I have a lot of growing to do. So, I know that I have a big agenda for the year 2009.....I need to make sure to take breath, continue to grow in patience, I need to not shut my family out when they are only trying to help, I need to continue to be optomistic and know that in time, what I am waiting for will come, I need to give to charity more, remain hopeful, be thankful for my grandparents, continue to be confident, enjoy my sense of humor, LAUGH, continue to make myself healthy, begin grad school, make up for past mistakes, finish my first year of teaching, take a trip, enjoy the moment, look past the superficial, strive every day to be a good person, good friend, and do the right thing, or the best thing or decision for that time...and hope that that energy will bring me good things, be open to new adventures, new people, new experiences, set expectations, set goals, blame myself less, work hard,surround myself with people that support me, laugh with me, will let me grow, will support me when I am down, surround myself with happy people, and most of all....love the journey....dance through life.
Good health, good luck, good people...and Happy 2009 to all.
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