Saying you’re sorry does not remove the other person’s pain. Apologizing does not prevent you from having the same reaction again under different circumstances a week or two later. To correct a pain you caused another, you must eradicate the trait inside yourself that caused you to react in the first place.
Today, work on eliminating one negative trait from your nature.
I thought this was interesting because so many people think saying sorry makes everything ok. They tell you, I said sorry a million times, I don't know what else I can do! I myself have said this, but it does not necessarily make the situation go away, nor does it remove the pain, sometimes too much damage has been done. I like the fact that in order for a apology to mean something, you have to eradicate, erase, the trait that made you react in a bad way to begin with, erase the reaction in yourself that caused the pain the other person. This is difficult because sometimes you don't see the reaction, you don't see the trait within yourself....and that is where the problem lies. One can only see from their perspective, so they think saying sorry erases pain, but what really needs to be erased, or at least brought into perspective is his/her own reaction and the negative trait that caused the pain. It kinda makes sense to me, I think i found my negative trait(s), some of them at least, but at this point, will sorry be enough, and I am not sure everything I want to say sorry for, really needs an apology. Identifying the trait fine, but the person on the other end of the apology, the circumstances around the apology are sometimes just too far gone, or are they? Where is the line between apologizing and not getting taken advantage of? How do you know what the right thing to do is, how do you not settle, how do you know when you have fought hard enough? Just an interesting thought.....
Biggest news this week, I am training for a 5k! Yes, a 5k, I was about as shocked as you were. Running a 5k is something that is on my bucket list for my life, but I never thought I would it do it this soon. It just kind of popped into my life, and a few teachers at my school decided they would run with me...and so the training begins. I did a lot of thinking before I decided to commit. First, I have never been a runner, ever. Elipitical, basketball back in my middle school days, sure...but running? Well, recently I decided that I need to change my outlook at exercise and getting heathly. My grandma, overweight for all of her life, is back in the hospital due to obesity issues, and it scares me because I know how easily I could slip into that. On the other end of things, I know how easily I can slip into the opposite of obesity, I have been there as well....., and had many people worried about me, so how do I find balance, how to find true healthyness. So I have decided to have a goal in mind, not to see how low the number on the scale can go, not to fit into the size jeans my friends can fit into, but rather a personal goal, part of the reason I miss college is that there were goals, and accomplishments, hard work and rewards. I think with a 5k, I will get that, in just a little different way, plus I will get healthy. The most important part is that I am doing it for me, not because I am unhappy and need something to have control over, not because I feel the pressure, not because I need the attention, but its something that is going to help me grow, see how far I can push myself. I realize a 5k isn't a very long distance, but I am trying to take things, and life, in small steps. I realize it is a risk, because training requires me to exercise pretty consistently, most days a week, and because I have an addictive personality, as has happened in the past, it is often hard to STOP exercising, but this will be true test of my will power and committment, show how much I learned, how much I have grown, and will show my comittment to be healthy. I am envious of people who don't have to watch their weight, it just comes natural to them, exercise, diet, weight, isn't something that comes natural it's something that I have to work at, struggle with, learn lessons from. It's just the path my life has chosen.....I will battle it my whole life, but I will not let it run my whole life. Not many people understand this, it's been a very complicated journey for me, I tried to explain it in the past, and while people had empathy, I don't know if they ever really heard the messages I was sending, overweight or underweight, I tried to talk about it, but I don't think I had the emotions, communication that I needed to express exactly the support I needed. It's still hard for me....but small steps, and right now, April 28th, Ann Arbor, 5k, is the goal ahead of me, and I am really excited to get started!
No comments:
Post a Comment