A semester of teaching came to an end today. I have learned there are flaws in the education system, kids that are lazy, parents that are lazier, and districts that tell you one thing and do another...but...despite its flaws, my first year of teaching has treated me quite well. So I have vented through curriculum days and PD days and teacher work days about the negative, and there is plenty to be had, but it's time to regroup and reflect on the positive....which for me, outweighs the negative.
My first semester of teaching, about 13 years in the making...13 years I waited to have my own classroom, with my own students, imagining what it would be like to be in front of the room every day, the center of the stage, influencing young minds, and sharing my passion for the subject I decided to teach. And 13 years later, here I sit, with my first official semester under my belt....and I could not be happier.
It is amazing what 155 , eleven, twelve and thirteen years old can do to a person, such as driving a teacher so far until they are legally insane :). But really do you ever think about why you are in the place that you are at a certain time in your life? Questioning why now, why this circumstance, why this lesson. Well there are not many things I am sure of, it is something that I think about and learn about daily, but one thing I am sure of is that I am meant to be a teacher, a middle school teacher, a Spanish middle school teacher, in the district I grew up in. There is a certain comfort in the familiar, just as my students crave routine and familiarity (even though they tell you otherwise) I also crave routine and familiarity. It is a wonderful feeling to walk the same halls that I went to middle school in, become friends with the teachers that I sat in the classrooms of ten years ago, the familiarity and comfort of the halls, the classrooms, knowing each day what my routine will be, what lessons will be taught, what projects will be presented, I am creature of habit or routine and so this fits me perfectly. On the other hand, teaching has also taught me how wonderful change, unfamiliarity, and surprises can be, and how much you truly do learn from them. So while the routine of day to day and hour to hour may be the same, first hour ends at 9:10 each day, my kids and my days are so drastically different, it is a challenge, but a wonderful one at that, every day. Kids not understanding lessons, kids coming in telling stories of losing their homes, going on vacations, winning hockey games, someone getting the flu...on my foot!, sickness, and new questions such as how do I say monkey-head in Spanish, compliments and criticisms, excitement for a game as simple as poke the pig or bingo....one hour understands, one hours doesn't....the multi-tasking keeps me on my toes, and before I know it, its 2:30 and another day is done. Each day I learn patience, and communication, and learn to enjoy the simple things, I love talking with my fellow teachers as well, I work with some really awesome people,...and while there are always frustrations, and bad days as a teacher, you have to laugh at the intensity of these middle schoolers, the way that finding out they have the same lunch as their friend, makes their entire week, the way that a jolly rancher for a correct answer makes you feel like you have won the lottery, there is not another world quite like the middle school world.
I love teaching because it puts me in so many different roles; teacher, counselor, mentor, mother, friend, comedian, actress, you name it, I do it. I am passionate for my kids and for what I do, which I think sends a very positive message to all the children in my classroom.
I like that I get to use what I learned in college everyday. As much as I complained about MSU and the college of ed, I spent A LOT of money for a piece of paper telling me I was a Spanish teacher. I took a lot of Spanish classes, I went to Spain for THREE MONTHS, and I get to use what I learned every day in my classroom. I spent five stress filled years to get to this point, and I use it every day, every day. How many people can say that about their degree? Not many. I have fallen in love all over again with Spanish, the language, the culture, the grammar, and my students are so inquisitive about how to say everything. And sure curriculum gets in the way, you cannot always teach what you want, when you want it, but to teach my students about Spanish and Mexican Recipes, and how to order food and a month later have them put on restaurant skits and have them make actual authentic recipes all in the target language, it is like my dream job comes to life...it's amazing to see that everything my kids know, I taught them. I am not sure there is a better profession out there, and I am preparing them for the global world, they are becoming fluent in another language, I am making Spanish fun, they want to learn it, well most of them!
And then there was today, the inspiration for this post to be honest, the reason why I am a teacher, the real reason. My kids are really something else. Today was the last day of the semeester, Monday starts a new semester, new classes. Mind you, Spanish is a full year class, so I will be getting all my (mostly) wonderful middle schoolers back...but in the world of middle school, as I learned today, while they may have be as a teacher again next semester, they will all be in different hours with different students, the class dynamic will change, it will be like the first day of school all over again...a big change, a new start....a whole new world in the mind of 13 year olds. Anyways, my 6th hour is wonderful. Teachers aren't supposed to have favorites, but they are my favorite, I favor them a little bit ( a lot of bit actually), I am more sarcastic with them, I let them get away with a tiny bit more than some others...all good hearted, all good natured, they are smart kids, good kids, dramatic as the day is long, and I really enjoy teaching them. We all bonded this semester, a lot because there are only 18 of us..compared to 35 in our other classes. 18 smart, motivated, talented, silly wonderful middle schoolers who speak Spanish, sometimes, better than I do! Anyways, they will all be in different hours next semester, and they made me a good-bye present today (mind you I will see them all on Monday which made it all that more fantastic) . They made me this huge poster, laminated, with all these pictures, inside jokes, random Spanish phrases, saying what a great teacher I am, how much they love my class, how much they love me, how much they have learned, how they use Spanish even outside of the classroom, and to never forget 6th hour 2009. They all brought their cameras and we all took a snap shot to capture the moment....it was just one of those moments, those ah-ha moments, like the IDEAL teaching world, if only every day could be like this, I felt like this is where I am supposed to be, how did I get his lucky?
These middle schoolers have brought me back to life, when I think of my state of mind two years ago, the hell I went through student teaching and where I am now, it is unreal. Never, in a million years would I have thought I could be this happy, feel this much self-worth, feel this needed, feel like I was doing this good of job, it is unreal. My students have taught me such wonderful lessons. They see me as just me, nothing more, nothing less. They don't care if I am 20 pounds heavier, or 30 pounds lighter, they don't care if I don't wear make-up one day, they don't care if I make a mistake, they actually admire it, they live in the moment....a bad day today, has no effect on tomorrow, they are honest....did you throw that pen...yes...did you do your homework...no...why not...I am going to be honest, I wasn't listening to you Señorita yesterday and so I didn't know we had any. I love their honesty, I love that they look up to me and admire me for what I do each day, I love that they don't hold a bad day against me. I love that they come to me for advice and trust me with their most personal stories. I love that when I write a recommendation for one of my favorite students, she sat and read it three times, and cried a little bit. She came up to me afterwards, gave me a hug, and said that no one had ever made her feel so good about herself, she read my letter of recommendation, and she said she suddenly felt like all her problems went away, she felt she was worth something. My heart sank in that moment, because that is so much of the reason for why I am here. To give confidence, to give these kids a voice and a sense of self-worth. When my student said this to me, I realized I am making an impact, I realized that that student was me, 10 years ago, feeling horrible about herself until one teacher made all the difference...made her believe in herself when no one else would, valued her when no one else did, for me, it was my 7th grade Social Studies teacher, 9th grade English teacher and high school Spanish teacher, but now, I was the teacher who did to my student what my old teachers did for me....the gift of believing in myself, the gift of self worth.
I think all of us could benefit from being like middle schoolers---not the ones that incesently annoy you, do not work, and make you want to quit on some days, no...rather live like the ones that are living in the moment, looking past the physical, not holding grudges, telling the truth, just looking for someone to accept them. I hope I am instilling in my students to be the best versions of themselves....and as I continue on the path of rebuilding my self-esteem and building the best version of myself...I will look to my students to help mel, because as much as they appreciate me, I equally, if not more, appreciate them:)
1 comment:
I am excited to find your blog! :)
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