You really understand the lyrics of music when you go through the lyrics of life

"The only way to really know, is to really let it go."
-Ingrid Michaelson

 

So what is the line between sacrifice and settling? That is the question of the day folks. How much to you sacrifice of yourself for another? How much do you settle? I think settling is all about your own standards. It is how you view yourself and what you think your worth is. While sacrifice is a selfless act of doing for another, and doing for yourself, an act that is not always easy, but needed. 

 The definition of sacrifice is as follows:

the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
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So today, it was decided to sacrifice something very important to me, for the sake of something better. A better self, a better life, a better relationship. I don't view this sacrifice as settling at all. In fact, in this sense, I think because I refuse to settle, I had to sacrifice. Sacrifice something and someone that made my world complete, in hopes that something or someone will make that world even MORE complete. Maybe it is time that is needed to make my world more complete, to allow me to grow, sacrifice who I was, into who I will become. Maybe in time, the sacrifice I made, the sacrifice "we" made will pay off and bloom into something new, equally as beautiful, and something where neither of the parties involved have to sacrifice.

On the other hand, sometimes sacrifice means truly letting go. Letting go of all it. To allow something better, and new, and different to enter. How can you move forward, how can you truly know if you are meant to be with someone,  if you are still holding to an old relationship and old memories. Ingrid Michaelson hit the nail on the head on that one. 

As much of a strong believer of fate and signs as I am, I am also a big believer in not settling for anything less than everything. I want it all. And while some my look at that as unrealistic, I do not believe it is. I want the education, and the doctorate, and the growth as a person, and a partner that will grow with me and raise a family with those same values. I don't know who that partner is right now. The fact is, I won't know until some day in the future. The unknowns are very challenging, emotional, and confusing. 

But I believe in personal growth and change and being in the moment. I believe in readying yourself for what you may face in the future. I believe we all have lessons to learn and sacrifices to make. Relationships don't work unless you make sacrifices and they sure don't work if you settle for less than you deserve. 

So where is that line between sacrifice and settling? Is there a line? Are they opposite of each other? Related? Or maybe the same? See more confusion. All I know is that a big sacrifice has been made today in the name of not settling for what this relationship has to offer in the moment. 

It is scary, but healthy.

And with this, I let go. Fully let go. In time, I do believe I will feel and see the truth. And in time, we will see what the future holds. I very much hope that the sacrifices made today will be worth it tomorrow.

To self-improvement, love, self-worth, growth, learning, breaking down, and building up...a good-bye to the end of one of the toughest summers of my life, and onto a fall of new adventures....