Welcome 2012!
What an amazing, whirlwind this year has been.
What an amazing, whirlwind this year has been.
My gramma always used to say "good things come to those who wait" and while I wish she was here to see that come true, I know, in spirit, she sees that saying coming to life as I enter the most exciting time in my life.
Life takes you on a strange ride. I think back five years ago. January of 2007. I was student teaching in a high school and a city that I never thought I would end up in. Living with my parents was a constant struggle. I yearned for my independence. I wanted life to be stable. Besides my best friend Angela, whose apartment I lived in part-time, nothing in my life was constant. Student teaching brought a new challenge each day, graduation was looming, as was a job search in this depressed Michigan economy. Friendships were changing, life was changing. What was supposed to be one of the most exciting times in my life, turned out to be one of the most depressing. Completely unsure of myself, trying to desperately hold onto the past, only to find out my tightest grip would not be able to hang on for long.
My first job, just a mere four years ago began to change my life. New friends, new people, a job that I loved. Moving out of my parents was the first major life changing event. It was the first time that I began to take care of myself, and put myself first.
The next few years brought closer friendships, counseling grad classes that made me look at myself, my past, my future in a brand new light. I was suddenly more self-aware than I had ever been. I was surprised at what I found out about myself, the person you are supposed to know best. I had so much growing up to do. So much to learn about myself. So much to learn about the mistakes of my past.
The next few years brought three different school districts, some very "interesting" dates, many disputes with parents, changing friendships, and learning what I really wanted from my life. There were weddings and babies and engagements (and many more anticipated 2012 weddings, babies and engagements to look forward to) Life challenged me to embrace change, when I spent my whole life running from it. Stress hives and all, I adapted. I made the best of the situation, but was not completely happy, rather, I was hiding behind a happy face.
My dating life:
Well, let's just say my very limited dating experience could be a academy award winning movie. I went with the attractive guy with no personality, the big man with no romance, the man who opened his shirt on the first date to show me his gigantic scar and asked me if I wanted to touch it (this relationship was short lived by the way) the man with the boat and small stumpy hands, the man with no chemistry, the man with religion...who liked the torah just a bit too much, the man who couldn't spell, the man who stared at me as I talked for 3 hours, the man who could not hold an intelligent conversation for the life of him, the videogame man, and the man whose heart I broke. For those of people who said I didn't put myself out there enough, fuck you all.
My advice to those dating: it is overrated. Awkward. Uncomfortable. Emotional. Depressing. Distressing. Wait until you are ready. It is ok to cry. It is ok to cry a lot. It is ok to have an emergency call from your best friend (Thanks Ang!) during a date to rescue you. Be patient. Be honest. Don't dress like a whore.
I am a quick judge of character when it comes to men. I can tell from the first date whether or not this is going to work. Then, out of advice from friends, I am told to give it at least 2-3 more dates after that to really get to know them a bit more. Sometimes I followed their advice, sometimes I didn't. Bottom line, if you are dreading going on the date, sweating hours before the date commences, contemplating drinking rat poison rather than going on this date, he is probably not the one.
Enter the South Lyon years:
Enter my fourth school district in four years. Of all places, South Lyon. A good boring drive down Pontiac Trial into farm country. I interviewed for a job in South Lyon when I first graduated. It came down to me and one other person. They chose the other person because she had a math major. Come to find out, she now teaches next door to me and has become one of my good friends.
This is my second year in South Lyon. I have a love-hate relationship with it, but it is mostly love.
1. My kids are hilarious. Laugh out loud funny. Smart. Quirky. Silly. Lazy. Infuriating. Generous. Filled with hormones. Teenagers. They keep me on my toes, and it is the kind of environment where I know I am making a difference.
2. I love teaching Spanish one. I love seeing them in the Fall with no Spanish knowledge and then coming out at the end Speaking Spanish...with me, in stores, with their families. It is awesome.
3. I love rapping in Spanish. So do the kids, I wish I could post these videos. They are pure gold.
4. My colleagues. Some of the most genuine, funny, fantastic educators I know. Hard-workers, poke fun at the politics, and would do absolutely anything for you. It it one of the greatest communities I have ever worked in. They keep me entertained, and give me that adult interaction that is SO needed as a teacher.
I won't teach forever. I am currently enthralled with my counseling classes and have fallen in love with therapy, psychology, and counseling. I already feel I am part time therapist with my kids, and the whole field of psychology fascinates me. I still love teaching too much to quit, but in the future, I will slowly ease my way out of teaching as I build my own family and will quietly begin my PsyD program in psychology with the long term goal of becoming a Psychologist and opening up my own private practice focusing on adolescent issues and concerns. I will also most likely get a certification in eating disorders, and would love to open my own clinic dealing primarily with that disorder. I am passionate about it. I have always had a love of helping others. I think I have a unique view, a unique way of healing through hope and humor.
This is my second year in South Lyon. I have a love-hate relationship with it, but it is mostly love.
1. My kids are hilarious. Laugh out loud funny. Smart. Quirky. Silly. Lazy. Infuriating. Generous. Filled with hormones. Teenagers. They keep me on my toes, and it is the kind of environment where I know I am making a difference.
2. I love teaching Spanish one. I love seeing them in the Fall with no Spanish knowledge and then coming out at the end Speaking Spanish...with me, in stores, with their families. It is awesome.
3. I love rapping in Spanish. So do the kids, I wish I could post these videos. They are pure gold.
4. My colleagues. Some of the most genuine, funny, fantastic educators I know. Hard-workers, poke fun at the politics, and would do absolutely anything for you. It it one of the greatest communities I have ever worked in. They keep me entertained, and give me that adult interaction that is SO needed as a teacher.
I won't teach forever. I am currently enthralled with my counseling classes and have fallen in love with therapy, psychology, and counseling. I already feel I am part time therapist with my kids, and the whole field of psychology fascinates me. I still love teaching too much to quit, but in the future, I will slowly ease my way out of teaching as I build my own family and will quietly begin my PsyD program in psychology with the long term goal of becoming a Psychologist and opening up my own private practice focusing on adolescent issues and concerns. I will also most likely get a certification in eating disorders, and would love to open my own clinic dealing primarily with that disorder. I am passionate about it. I have always had a love of helping others. I think I have a unique view, a unique way of healing through hope and humor.
Loss of Grandparents
Dear Gramma(s),
I miss you everyday.
I miss talking to you.
I miss seeing the joy on your face when I tell you good news.
I miss your optimism.
I miss you at family weddings.
I miss you when I get to hold what would have been your great-grandchildren.
I wonder if you can see me.
I wonder if you can see how happy I am.
I wonder if you are watching over me.
I wonder if you can see my new house.
I wonder if you can see that pictures of you will always be a part of my home and life.
I wish you could be at my wedding one day.
I wish you could meet the love of my life.
I wish you could still give me advice.
I wish I could ask you one more question.
I wish I had one more holiday to celebrate with you.
I wish I could hug you one more time.
I wish I could see you complete your crosswords.
I wish Papa wouldn't have to be alone.
I wish you would have taken better care of yourself.
I hope you can see that I wear your wedding ring everyday.
I hope you are pain free.
I hope you are in a place where you are happy and can be with all our other loved ones that have passed.
I hope you approve of what I am doing with my life.
I hope you can see a little bit of yourselves in me.
I hope you can see me doing my best, thinking of others, and taking care of myself.
I hope to see you again one day, and tell you one more time, how much I love you and much you were missed over all those years.
I love you.
Dear Gramma(s),
I miss you everyday.
I miss talking to you.
I miss seeing the joy on your face when I tell you good news.
I miss your optimism.
I miss you at family weddings.
I miss you when I get to hold what would have been your great-grandchildren.
I wonder if you can see me.
I wonder if you can see how happy I am.
I wonder if you are watching over me.
I wonder if you can see my new house.
I wonder if you can see that pictures of you will always be a part of my home and life.
I wish you could be at my wedding one day.
I wish you could meet the love of my life.
I wish you could still give me advice.
I wish I could ask you one more question.
I wish I had one more holiday to celebrate with you.
I wish I could hug you one more time.
I wish I could see you complete your crosswords.
I wish Papa wouldn't have to be alone.
I wish you would have taken better care of yourself.
I hope you can see that I wear your wedding ring everyday.
I hope you are pain free.
I hope you are in a place where you are happy and can be with all our other loved ones that have passed.
I hope you approve of what I am doing with my life.
I hope you can see a little bit of yourselves in me.
I hope you can see me doing my best, thinking of others, and taking care of myself.
I hope to see you again one day, and tell you one more time, how much I love you and much you were missed over all those years.
I love you.
Roberto
10/10/2010 changed my life forever. I know, cliche and corny, but totally legit. :)
I went on a date. Well rushed to a date. I was babysitting, last minute, my friend Jen's kids, and babsitting duties lasted longer than expected. After a quick shower at her house, a dash of make-up, and being released of duties, I rushed over to the Starbucks in Northville and met a boy.
Let's track back a bit. Against everything inside of me, on a drunk late morning/evening, I sent a message on facebook to a boy that looked vaguely familiar to me. To my surprise, he replied. And so began our chain of e-mails that would later be kept in the vault of Manda and Roberto. His e-mails were friendly, charming, interesting, and the boy could actually hold an intelligent conversation. Refer back to my dating section to remind yourself that this was an oddity in my past relationship history. I agreed to a date.
As I rushed to my date that unusually warm Fall day, I realized I was not nervous. At all. What was going on!?!? I of course had Angela on call for an emergency situation but I had a good feeling going into the date.
(WARNING: awkward, lovey-dovey description ahead, again, never thought I would be this person, but sometimes this is how I roll, quietly, the romantic side of me slips out...doesn't happen often so pay attention. )As I awkwardly looked at the coffee selections in Starbucks, I turned to my left, and there he was. A walking Gap model, with a blue and red short sleeve shirt, great jeans, and the cutest curly hair I had ever seen. His "little boy" face got my attention right away, and in that moment, I felt a small butterfly fly into my stomach. We sat outside for over two hours talking about our families, our education, our likes, dislikes, and our travel plans. Come to find out that he and I studied aboard in Spain the same summer at the same University! Our paths must have crossed at Michigan State several times, from our Spanish classes, to our cafeteria meals, but the time must have not been right.
A second date at Cafe Habana, and a third date in Downtown Ann Arbor (on school nights mind you) had me convinced that this might actually be something. His sweet demeanor, his ability to make me laugh, his kind, generous nature, his attention to detail, his interest in anything that interested me, and his ability to leave me speechless (and I am not one who is EVER at a loss for words) had me smitten.
Third and Fourth dates turned into impromptu dinners, driving back between Northville and Ann Arbor, long phone calls, long apartment night talks, a mini-vacation to Grand Rapids for a Friend's wedding, meeting families, Christmas and Hanukkah parties, a surprise Valentines day cruise (a vacation in which we both admit sealed the deal for us, we knew, on that vacation that were meant to be with each other), countless birthday parties, meeting each other's friends, checking Spanish papers together, Google Lunches, concerts, homemade dinners, and ultimately, this past Fall, our first home together.
It has been a wonderfully, fast, whirlwind that has completely spun my world upside down. I never thought I would be "that girl" who fell so deeply in love. I have experienced complete and total acceptance of who I am....something I was and still am so self-conscience of. I experienced honestly, and loyalty and trust all over again in a new way, things that have been severely severed in the past. We have learned so much together, being that this our first serious relationship. We have learned how to deal with bickering families, family expectations of us, religious differences (which may I point out that I feel that religion actually tears people apart more than pulling people together. I lost some faith in religion a long time ago. Organized religion feels cultish to me. "you must be like me, you must believe this, you must do everything for god/jesus/buddha. etc." What happened to being a good person, what happened to being open to celebrating everyone's tradition, what happened to living life with an open mind, what happened to free will and not using religion as an excuse for your actions. I know many people will be irritated my this response, but I strongly believe that celebrating traditions with family and friends, being with family, loving the ones you are with, appreciating them, being a good person, doing the right thing, being honest, is more important that any religious figure, any church service, any christmas tree or menorah.) etc. We have learned to cook together, communicate, and learned that fighting is OK.
What I love most is that we are both completely type A and OCD in completely different ways. We each make fun of each other's quirks, and we know we are not flawless. I love not coming home to an empty house. I love traveling the world together. I love feeling safe, and empowered for the first time in my life. I love being supported, and being made a priority. I love sharing a life with someone who is passionate and cares for the same things I do. I love learning about each other, and growing together. I love the possibilities ahead of us in 2012.
I have found my best friend, the love of my life, and the most generous, kind, supportive, intelligent man I ever have met. At 26 years old, I am starting to become the person I have always wanted to be. I am working on the struggles that I have battled for so long, I am working on undoing years of bad habits, unhealthy patterns, and unhealthy relationships. I have started to find my happy and in the journey of finding myself and my independence, I happened to find the man that completes my journey to happy.
My gramma was right....good things, most definitely, do come to those who wait.
Happy New Year!
I went on a date. Well rushed to a date. I was babysitting, last minute, my friend Jen's kids, and babsitting duties lasted longer than expected. After a quick shower at her house, a dash of make-up, and being released of duties, I rushed over to the Starbucks in Northville and met a boy.
Let's track back a bit. Against everything inside of me, on a drunk late morning/evening, I sent a message on facebook to a boy that looked vaguely familiar to me. To my surprise, he replied. And so began our chain of e-mails that would later be kept in the vault of Manda and Roberto. His e-mails were friendly, charming, interesting, and the boy could actually hold an intelligent conversation. Refer back to my dating section to remind yourself that this was an oddity in my past relationship history. I agreed to a date.
As I rushed to my date that unusually warm Fall day, I realized I was not nervous. At all. What was going on!?!? I of course had Angela on call for an emergency situation but I had a good feeling going into the date.
(WARNING: awkward, lovey-dovey description ahead, again, never thought I would be this person, but sometimes this is how I roll, quietly, the romantic side of me slips out...doesn't happen often so pay attention. )As I awkwardly looked at the coffee selections in Starbucks, I turned to my left, and there he was. A walking Gap model, with a blue and red short sleeve shirt, great jeans, and the cutest curly hair I had ever seen. His "little boy" face got my attention right away, and in that moment, I felt a small butterfly fly into my stomach. We sat outside for over two hours talking about our families, our education, our likes, dislikes, and our travel plans. Come to find out that he and I studied aboard in Spain the same summer at the same University! Our paths must have crossed at Michigan State several times, from our Spanish classes, to our cafeteria meals, but the time must have not been right.
A second date at Cafe Habana, and a third date in Downtown Ann Arbor (on school nights mind you) had me convinced that this might actually be something. His sweet demeanor, his ability to make me laugh, his kind, generous nature, his attention to detail, his interest in anything that interested me, and his ability to leave me speechless (and I am not one who is EVER at a loss for words) had me smitten.
Third and Fourth dates turned into impromptu dinners, driving back between Northville and Ann Arbor, long phone calls, long apartment night talks, a mini-vacation to Grand Rapids for a Friend's wedding, meeting families, Christmas and Hanukkah parties, a surprise Valentines day cruise (a vacation in which we both admit sealed the deal for us, we knew, on that vacation that were meant to be with each other), countless birthday parties, meeting each other's friends, checking Spanish papers together, Google Lunches, concerts, homemade dinners, and ultimately, this past Fall, our first home together.
It has been a wonderfully, fast, whirlwind that has completely spun my world upside down. I never thought I would be "that girl" who fell so deeply in love. I have experienced complete and total acceptance of who I am....something I was and still am so self-conscience of. I experienced honestly, and loyalty and trust all over again in a new way, things that have been severely severed in the past. We have learned so much together, being that this our first serious relationship. We have learned how to deal with bickering families, family expectations of us, religious differences (which may I point out that I feel that religion actually tears people apart more than pulling people together. I lost some faith in religion a long time ago. Organized religion feels cultish to me. "you must be like me, you must believe this, you must do everything for god/jesus/buddha. etc." What happened to being a good person, what happened to being open to celebrating everyone's tradition, what happened to living life with an open mind, what happened to free will and not using religion as an excuse for your actions. I know many people will be irritated my this response, but I strongly believe that celebrating traditions with family and friends, being with family, loving the ones you are with, appreciating them, being a good person, doing the right thing, being honest, is more important that any religious figure, any church service, any christmas tree or menorah.) etc. We have learned to cook together, communicate, and learned that fighting is OK.
What I love most is that we are both completely type A and OCD in completely different ways. We each make fun of each other's quirks, and we know we are not flawless. I love not coming home to an empty house. I love traveling the world together. I love feeling safe, and empowered for the first time in my life. I love being supported, and being made a priority. I love sharing a life with someone who is passionate and cares for the same things I do. I love learning about each other, and growing together. I love the possibilities ahead of us in 2012.
I have found my best friend, the love of my life, and the most generous, kind, supportive, intelligent man I ever have met. At 26 years old, I am starting to become the person I have always wanted to be. I am working on the struggles that I have battled for so long, I am working on undoing years of bad habits, unhealthy patterns, and unhealthy relationships. I have started to find my happy and in the journey of finding myself and my independence, I happened to find the man that completes my journey to happy.
My gramma was right....good things, most definitely, do come to those who wait.
Happy New Year!
