Shifting Sense of Self

Two of the most powerful quotes, I have ever come across. Literally have shifted my sense of self. 
As I grow happier each day, I understand that:

 "since most of our hurts come through our relationships, so too, will our healing."
---William P. Young


“Wounding and healing are not opposites. They're part of the same thing. It is our wounds that enable us to be compassionate with the wounds of others. It is our limitations that make us kind to the limitations of other people. It is our loneliness that helps us to to find other people or to even know they're alone with an illness. I want to spend my life, helping people,with the  parts of myself I used to be ashamed of. ” 
--Rachel Naomi Remen

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.” 

-- C. JoyBell

The Fight

The Fight



If you love her, you gotta fight.

Fight hard, my friend, for she will be gone.

Doesn’t matter what she says or said,

Doesn’t matter what she did or didn’t do,

If you love her, you gotta fight.


She is stubborn and independent,

A fiery soul.

Passionate and caring,

Someone worth fighting for.


Shout it from the top, shout it out loud,

If she is worth it, then fight, be proud!


Fight for the hugs, kisses, and fights.

Fight for forgiveness, and making it right.


Know what you want, she doesn’t have time to wait,

When you are ready, when your mind has been made up,

Decide if she is worth the fight.


Fight through the silence, the good times, the bad,

Fight for the memories you had.


Do you miss her every second of every day?

Is it hard to make the pain go away?

Fight hard, kind sir, fight 'till the end,

For a new "prince-charming" may just come along,

And help her heart mend.


If she isn’t worth the fight, if you have changed your mind,

Then let her fly, and move on to this other guy.


A guy that WILL fight for her, fight for what’s right,

Fight for treating her well, with all his might.


Fight for the humor, and the laughs,

For a family, for traditions, and for a life that lasts.


Fight for romance, and making her feel special,

Each day and each night, support her, as she takes flight.

Fight for her respect, her love, her trust,

Knowing all along, that this alone, will always be enough.


I am worth the fight!

Happy Birthday to me!

I love 27 already!

My latest mantra, and new photo frame saying. Excited for the changes coming my way!

A List of Learning

As I approach my 27th birthday this weekend, I contemplated what to write. 

A poem. A story. The roller coaster this last year has been. But then I decided it was my choice to look forward. My choice to dwell on the past or look toward the future. And I am choosing the positive route forward. I came across this list in the Chicago Tribune (written by a person approaching his 50th birthday) and was touched by it. So for the weekend, headed into the big 27, I will leave you with this list. I admire its honesty, and how much it truly "hits home."

My favorites: 1, 9, 11, 17, 21, 41, 44, 50...well all of them really:)

1. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

2. Promptness shows respect.

3. You can’t avoid offending people from time to time. When you don’t mean it, apologize.

4. The first person to use the expression “Get a life!” in any dispute is the loser.

5. Find your soul mate at all costs. And no, there is not just one person for everyone. With enough hard work, effort, love, patience, and commitment, anyone can become your soul mate.

6. The most valuable thing to have is a good reputation, and it’s neither hard nor expensive to acquire one: Be fair. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Be generous. Respect others.

7. Prejudice and bigotry is hard-wired into us. You can’t overcome it until you acknowledge it.

8. Don’t be bothered when people don’t share your tastes in music, sports, literature, food and fashion. Be glad. You’d never get tickets to anything otherwise:)

9. Every person needs to enter therapy at least once in their life, it helps you find a sense of self.

10. Empathy is the greatest virtue. From it, all virtues flow. Without it, all virtues are an act.

11. The Golden Rule is the greatest moral truth. If you don’t believe in it, at least try to fake it.

12. Keeping perspective is the greatest key to happiness. From a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth.

13. Don't let anyone treat you with anything less than the very best. No matter what circumstance.

14. It’s not “political correctness” that dictates that we try not to insult others’ beliefs and identities. It’s common decency.

15. It may not feel like it, but it’s good luck when you have people at home and at work who aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re wrong.

16. It’s 10 times easier to fall in love than to stay in love. And no matter what the sad songs say about romance, broken hearts do mend.

17. Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.

18. Keeping an open mind is as big a challenge as you get older as keeping a consistent waistline.

19. It’s never a shame when you admit you don’t know something, and often a shame when you assume that you do.

20. Wounds heal faster under bandages than they do in the open air.

21. Fear of failure is a ticket to mediocrity. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not pushing yourself. And if you’re not pushing yourself, you’re coasting.

22. Anyone who judges you by the kind of car you drive or shoes you wear isn’t someone worth impressing.

23. Grudges are poison. The only antidote is to let them go.

24. If you’re in a conversation and you’re not asking questions, then it’s not a conversation, it’s a monologue.

25. In everyday life, most “talent” is simply hard work in disguise.

26. Great parents can have rotten kids and rotten parents can have great kids. But even though biology plays a huge role in destiny, that’s no excuse to give up or stop trying.

27. Four things that most people think are lame but really are a lot of fun:staying in pajamas all day, karaoke, long road trips, writing love notes.

28. Two cheap, easy self-improvement projects: Develop a strong handshake and start smiling when you answer the phone.

29. When something that costs less than $200 breaks and it’s not under warranty and you can’t fix it yourself in half an hour, it’s almost certainly more cost-effective to throw it out.

30. Most folk remedies are nonsense, but zinc really does zap colds.

31. Physical attraction is nice, but shared values and a shared sense of humor are the real keys to lasting love.

32. To keep dental visits regular, schedule your next appointment on your way out from your last appointment.

33. The 10-minute jump start is the best way to get going on a big task you’ve been avoiding. Set a timer and begin, promising yourself that you’ll quit after 10 minutes and do something else. The momentum will carry you forward.

34. Laundry day is much easier when all your socks are the same and you don’t have to sort them.

35. Candor is overrated. It’s hard to unsay what you’ve said in anger and almost impossible to take back what you’ve written.

36. Goals that you keep to yourself are just castles on the beach. If you’re determined to achieve something, tell people about it and ask them to help you stick with it.

37. Mental illness is as real as diabetes, arthritis or any other disease, and no more disgraceful. It’s the stigma that’s disgraceful.

38. In crisis or conflict, always think and act strategically. Take time to take a 360 view. How will the situation effect your life 5 years from now.

39. All the stuff you have lying around that you’ll never want, need, wear or look at again? It just makes it harder to find what you do want, need or intend to wear. File it, donate it or throw it out.

40. Exercise does not take time. Exercise creates time.

41. Almost no one gives compliments often enough.

42. It pays to keep handy a list that includes a trusted plumber, electrician, locksmith, appliance repair specialist and heating contractor. When you really need one is no time to start looking.

43. The store-brand jelly, cereal, paper goods, baking supplies and pharmacy products are good enough.

44. When you mess up, ’fess up. It’s the fastest way, if there is one, to forgiveness. Fight for what or who you love, despite everyone and everything telling you otherwise. The fight, shows that you have priorities.

45. When you’re not the worst-dressed person at a social event, you have nothing to worry about.

46. Be truthful or be quiet. Lies are hard to keep track of.

47. Your education isn’t complete until you've learned to compromise.

48. Whatever your passion, pursue it as though your days were numbered. Because they are.
49. You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
50. The people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

10/10

Today reminds me 

Of change.

Of mixed emotions.

Of how life surprises you.

Of how life crushes you.

Of how important it is to be true to yourself.

Of confusion.

Of sadness.

Of happiness.

Of home.

Of firsts.

Of lasts.

Of memories past.

Of broken hearts.

Of newfound love.

Of decisions.

Of choices.

Of wondering why.

Of running away.

Of meant to be.

Of meant to be only for a time.

Of things happen for a reason.

Of wondering why, again.

Of second chances.

Of broken promises.

Of learning.

Of growing.

Of building a life.

Of trying to figure out emotions.

Of trying to figure out what feels right.

Of trusting fate.

Of trusting time.

Of deserving to be treated the best. Only the very best.

Of starting over......hoping it will all be meant to be in the end.

Maybe.

Surprise Flowers

I love surprises.
I love the beginning.

Respect. And Truth. And Enjoyment.

I love learning.
I love loving.

And I love opening the front door to a boy holding these....

Good night online world. Looking forward to another great weekend, some out of town guests, and Ph.D. programs. Life is moving forward.